In football, maths sometimes gets turned on its head. That's why, for AC Milan, 1 is greater than 3. 

"Our football is designed to protect a one goal lead. When my players were foolish enough to score three, they had ruined my plan and turned their back on the traditions of this great club," said disconsolate Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti. 

"Luckily for me we have a scapegoat in Hernan Crespo. As a hot-headed Argentinan he cannot be expected to undertand the strict yet beautiful philosophy that underpins Italian football in which no goals are great, one goal is good, three goals are bad." 

Skipper Paolo Maldini agrees. "After scoring my goal I had been looking forward to spending the rest of the game in my armchair flicking through the other TV channels to see what was on. Maybe catching a bit of Celebrity Love Island and checking my investment portfolio or phoning friends. In other words, doing what I normally do at a Champions League final. Crespo's blundering meant that I had to start running around again. Do you know I am nearly 40, even though I look much younger?" 

As the Dutch philosopher Jaap Stam would say, "It's relaxing to work hard, but hard work relaxing."