Walking through Clissold Park this morning, pushing the pram, I noticed one of the deer had its antlers caught in the wire fence. The more it struggled to break free the more it got tangled up. I got a passing cyclist to give me a leg-up then scaled the 10 foot high fence and prepared to drop down the other side. Suddenly the deer freed itself and I was left hanging, no longer an animal welfare have-a-go-hero but all of a sudden a trespasser likely to incur a Hackney Council fine. I managed to flip myself back over and luckily my fall was broken by the cyclist who was still anxiously watching my progress. He picked himself up, gave me a weak smile (obviously thinking "inept tosser") and pedalled off. I collected the pram and my son and strode off to the north.
The pipes of poo?
The big ploughed trackways are still there in the park, makeshift wooden fencing on each side. It appears they are connecting two major poo pipelines in the N16 area. This morning two blokes had a suction tube down a large manhole, presumably sucking up liquid shit then transporting to a part of the country that's suffering from a runny faeces deficit.
Fox Rodent Hybrid Nut Fiends
A mother is walking through the park with a small boy following behind, dribbling a football. A squirrel runs across their path.
"I used to see red squirrels when I was little," says mum. The boy isn't listening. He's doing commentaries to himself as he jogs along.
" There were lots of them at my Auntie Jo's house," she says. The boy kicks the ball against the fence and makes a crowd noise. His mum sighs.
"They're mostly grey squirrels now."